like breathing under water

My brain feels like total and absolute butter!

I’ve also just returned from some ridiculous speed shopping with my dear friend Amanda!! AKA. You know what you want and you just drop by the store to grab a few sizes, try them on, and buy. It’s how I work. She also sort of talks me into things and I talk her into things… I should probably just go it alone from now on, lol. JK Amanda.

And, at around 6:00 PM tonight, I finished my last final for this semester! HU-FREAKING-ZZAH!!! All three in one day makes an interesting study  life, but a fast resolution to the stress.

This semester was brutal… and it’s pretty much all German’s fault. Literally, this whole semester has felt like breathing under water. Just barely making it to the surface for a little bit of air, but panicking the whole time because you know it’s about to get worse. That’s my semester in a metaphor… but now that I can breathe, I feel like I can look forward to my last semester and a half of classes and feel like maybe, just maybe, I can live out all those little fantasies that I had before I ever left home. AHHHHH!!! Church, working out, being awesome! I look forward to focusing on my future rather than on passing German.

And after three weeks of drugging myself to sleep to shut up the anxiety, three all-nighters – two pulled consecutively – and feeling like a stressed-out, spazzed-out, high-strung failure bordering on mental and emotional collapse… to say that I am relieved is an absolute understatement. But, enough about that… because now comes the ever sitting-on-pins-and-needles-experience of waiting for official grades to be posted! Geeze! Worst part of the whole experience.

I feel pretty strongly about my German final, and I’m pulling for two B’s, one A, and a C. Not my usual grades of 4.0 across the board, but seemingly pretty standard performance here. But, I’m  glad that German is over!!!

Happy studying for the rest of you!!!

This was my morning's status: True Story

Don't take the Holocaust and German language in the same semester...
You'll end up dreaming about being arrested, freed by the Allies, and walking past Hitler a few times. All the while debating what to make for your brother for dinner bc the frontier lady cooked so many wonderful dishes on her open fire stove. Clearly, it's going to be a long day....

 

Doing exactly what got me into this pinch...

That's right. I've gotten sick TWICE over an exam! I am so thouroughly freaked out that I have been making intimate with the porcelin thrown - face first.

I have never experienced anything like this before. And honestly, I can't believe it... I am so freaked out about my German 3 final that I am literally SICK over it!
Shouldn't there be rules against this kind of stuff?

Sure: but according to FSU's policies only if I have FOUR exams within a 24-hour period. Not if I have three exams back-to-back. Nope, that's completely tolerable!
FAIL!

So, for the past two days I have been writing essays - which are part of my exams - and I am NOT complaining that my super awesome History department professors are so chill for giving us these take-home essays, but seriously!

THE ENTIREITY OF MY FUTURE ACADEMIC CAREER HANGS IN THE BALANCE OF PASSING MY DREADED GERMAN 3 FINAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That's why I am getting sick! So, I have a new game plan: Write for 40mins. Study German for 15-20min. Repeat.

But the reason that I'm in this mess is that I have been taking my time with the essays, thinking all the while, "Essays never take me more than a few hours... a day and a half at most to get all three done." NICHT!

I need my vacay with my daddy and my vacay with my mommy and a run and a good night's sleep. Bitte schoen!

Just remember - unlike I fail to do - that you are not measured by how well you can speak German. Your worth lies in the eyes of God and in how much you are loved by those around you :)

Biblophile

Even though I have been drowning in a sea of unrelenting school work, I still cannot keep my mind from wandering two months two months into the future where I will be free of German and in the great state of Georgia! I love it there. Last year it snowed. I took so many pictures of a sparse covering of white loveliness I was so excited!
I have problem when I go anywhere that my books are not; I try to take them all with me. I have been learning to pack lighter because I get made fun of for how much I take with me... most of the mass being books and shoes. How can you ever take just one?! And I'm always reading more than one book at a time: different books for different moods. Words are like music to me. I have to be in the mood to deal with turmoil and war and emotional distress and happiness and gaiety and love. I have to be in the mood to be in Russia with Anna, I have to be in the mood to be with Ernest in Paris, I have to be in the mood to think with Ayn. I am an emotional being and I want the things that I do and surround myself with to reflect how I am feeling.

The only problem is I am trying to find the one book that I will begin and finish this winter break. I am a slow reader with a proliferation of books that have perfect spines and unbent pages. So who am I going to go with?!? Who will come with me? Will it be Rosamond Lehmann? Joyce? Tolstoy? Austen? Auden? Rand? Hemmingway? Fitzgerald? WHO WILL I TAKE?! It is oft too much to bear. I am like a mother unable to pick a favorite... (But I am leaning towards Lehmann's The Weather in the Streets)