Pipe dreaming, overdosing on nostalgia, and piles of research

 Oh, my poor blog!

How I have neglected thee!

Seriously, though... this semester has been crazy!

I am currently taking a break from re-re-re-re-re-editing my Undergrad Research Grant proposal for my DIS! Which I am so stoked about!

The possibilities seem endless this semester!

It is amazing to note this difference in myself. And I find it amusing that a single course can make one feel depressed and hateful towards their academic institution for so long...

But now that German is over, I am ready to conquer the world and my major! HUZZAH!

And I have started that by developing a DIS project with one of my fav Professors.

This project should have me back in the Balkans by the summer and if that happens, then I will be doing a second DIS in either Prague or Greece.

But I have a strange realization... my passport stamps will all look the same :/ Blessings, for sure, but for a nomadic spirit, it pains me a little.

I mean, I just went there last summer and experienced all that is wonderful and amazing about the region - even the summer heat was a marvel for it is unlike that here in Florida. I had such high hopes for going to Istanbul for Study Abroad this summer, but those were popped due to family circumstances and the realization that it sort of doesn't fit and that DIS is more important to my future as a Grad student than more undergrad courses. I mean, when I had this realization, I began pipe dreaming and overdosing on nostalgia by drinking Višnjevača and listening to Croatian folk music from a concert I attended in Dubrovnik. Which made me more depressed…

But, then God reminded me of something. My professor at the time offered a DIS the following summer for the same course… and the Grad School Workshop that I had attended the night before where my other fav professor talked about grad school and great ways to boost your chances including the importance of DIS! DUH!!! 2 birds, 1 stone.

I could travel again, but more importantly, I could do a DIS project on something I want to learn more about anyway! Perfect!

Then, a few days later, I find out that I have to do at least 6 hrs of DIS and/or internships for my international affairs minor… uhmmm, can you say fate?

But, the fact that I may be going back to a country that I just experienced seems sort of………… defeating.

I have a list of places that I HAVE to go to before I die, which could be any day that God chooses to call me home.

I WILL – I am all about proactive language – go to Egypt, Istanbul, Rome, Paris, Normandy, basically all of France, Dublin – which has a nice airport… it was so tempting to just miss my flight back to the US and go exploring - , Scotland, Kenya, Russia, Vietnam, Peru, India, Iceland- and by that I mean Reykjavik, because that’s kind of all there is - , and the list is never ending! I just have to go!

I feel like I will feel I have cheated myself of an amazing life if I don’t do all these things! I have been dreaming about travelling the world since I was a little girl! Literally, the only fantasies I have ever had, has been of me travelling the world. In the 3^rd grade we watched this video about the leaning tower Piza and how it was closed down because of the instability of the infrastructure. I vividly remember praying to God to not let it fall over until I had visited it! Ridiculous for a 3^rd grader you say? Not for one born with a spirit and a nomadic heart. I can even remember of being jealous and slightly mad at my dad for going to Switzerland with his Swiss friend and not taking me! Granted, I was like… well, really little. I never dreamed of getting married or having kids or a house… only of travel. I obsessively watch Samantha Brown’s shows and am ridiculously jealous of her travel life! Her, and Andrew Zimmern and Anthony Bourdain. I mean, come on! Look at their experiences! Totally jealous and envious!

I just have to get out there and learn and see things and experience things and get lost – check - and have adventures and just live. I just have to. It is the greatest desire of my heart! And part of me is afraid that I am wasting my chance to go somewhere new by going to a place that I have already been. But, I know that it will open up opportunities to go to Prague or Greece for other education opportunities. So, new experiences wait through the same experience.

I wish that I could somehow these passions to my parents… especially when I feel like they don’t get it or don’t understand what I’m talking about, or why it means SO much to me to just go somewhere! My feet can only tread the same Earth for so long…

P.S. I have those posts from the rest of my vacay with my mom in NE Georgia. They’ll be awesome! Full of fun and craftiness; and new posts are in the works as far as some new DIY projects are concerned –I’ve got some great ones!

Check out this blog for SOME great DIY projects… I don’t approve of all of them, but that’s just me :)

Advice from Split, Croatia

When I was travelling by myself in Croatia after my study-abroad 2 week program ended, I went to Split for the last part of my solo week.

PICTURES AT THE END. READ FOR THE REWARD.

I was eating dinner at Hotel Peristil’s own restaurant and it was dead. Where the hungry people were, I do not know! A young – and attractive waitor – was just sitting and I was just sitting and we weren’t talking. That’s weird for people over there. He started talking to me. We must have talked for at least 3 hours. He shared with me SO much about the culture in those hours than all the studying in the world could have done. It was amazing. I discovered how much alike people are. How everyone in the world worries about how their government is changing and so on. How they work, how the economic crisis isn’t just in the US – dimwitted, I know.

He told me all about how the businesses have declined and how foreigners are all worried about how much they are spending, when only a few short years ago, that would have been the farthest thing from their minds.

Yeah, the world is a lot crappier than it used to be.

Aside from the fact that he thought it was weird that I was travelling alone, he told something about myself:

I am time-obsessed.

He reminded me that time is yours. And it’s up to you how you spend it. But, he said, Americans have lost this amazing ability to use time. Time uses us.

It was then that I noticed that the whole time that I was talking to him, I was checking my clock! WTF!? I thought… I am on vacation and I have nowhere to be, and no time constraints, I don’t have to be up early. What am I doing? I immediately put my phone far away from me so that I couldn’t see the time. And we continued to talk.

The best thing he told me the whole night was this:

Whatever you have to do, will be waiting for you when you get to it.

I so wish that this were true… they have work ethic, but they take it easy. They don’t bust themselves up by the time that they are 45 trying to do everything on Monday so they can do everything on Tuesday.

This isn’t a race… it is life.

So just slow the freak down when you can. Enjoy yourself. Don’t make yourself haggard and wretched inside just so you can have everything checked off.

Take it slow.

Take long lunches with friends. Walk slowly on your way back from class and take deep breaths and smile as you look up to the sky and try not to feel so sad doing it.

Yeah, I know, we all have schedules, but screw it every once in a while. Like he said, “It’ll be waiting for you.”

I mean, I spent a whole day walking around Zagreb’s up-town basically lost. I was looking for ONE thing in particular and essentially ended up losing a whole day… but it’s ok. I met some AMAZING people.

Look what you can miss if you don’t take time.

A little window on the streets of Zagreb. I would have missed it if I hadn't looked up. Take time to look up.

After a day of being lost, you can feel like a master of the streets once you figure it out and finally find what you've been looking for (Zagreb).

A real Croatian Baseball game... I think that's what it was. I watched it for a bit then moved on the the Archaelogical museum. Take your time getting to where you're going. Enjoy the unique things that you find along the way. (Split)

Sometimes getting lost reveals something that you would have never seen (canopy in Split)

Take the time to look and admire (Market in Split)

Zagreb. Just take a moment to look back to make sure you didn't miss anything.

Blood and Honey: the true story

 

The word Balkan comes from two Turkish words. Bal: honey  Kan: blood. And being in Mostar and in Sarajevo you would understand how fitting that name is. How truly it describes the region. Bosnia i Herzegovina is still filled with blood and honey. The people are sweet yet filled with pain. And the land is beautiful, but filled with the blood of its' people. If only you had been there to see it. Oh, I wish that words could make you feel what my eyes saw. I wish that these photos meant to you what they mean to me.

Everytime we (my class and me) went somewhere that I knew there had been conflict only 10-15 years prior to our arrival, I desperately searched the buildings and landscapes for signs of destruction: namely shell holes. I was forced to wonder during all of my searching if I was doing something wrong... looking for only the open wounds rather than looking for the signs of healing. I felt strangely fascinated by all of the wholes and then... I felt... guilty. Guilty for wanting to see it all and feeling vaguely disappointed about the covered and filled in holes. Should I be ashamed of myself? I'm not sure. Should I know how to feel all by myself?

It was an alien situation for me. I didn't want to see the destruction, but I did; I was happy to see the repair and the progress. It means that the city is healing - that the people are slowly learning to forget the pain. This is what I want to do with the life that God has given me.

Kraljević: Croatian for Prince

Miroslav Kraljević
Ruski Ballet, 1912
Pen, Ink/ Paper

What I learned from my study abroad experience, be it in Croatia, Bosnia i Herzegovina, Montenegro, or on the Aer Lingus overnight flight from Dublin to New York is that American suck at being gentlemen. AMERICAN MEN NEED TO STUDY MAN-SKILLS ABROAD!!!

Never in all my life - with the exception of my brother and one other guy from the past - I have never been treated like such a lady! Men were so willing to help in any way! The American that I sat next to on my Dubrovnik to Dublin flight was no help at all; but the Irish gentleman that sat next to me on Aer Lingus flight EI 109 in seat 39 K (next to 39 H - yes, I went there) named Mark Hensley blew my mind with his gentlemanly behavior. Not only was he cute, he was sweet by helping me conquer the touch screen TV and by getting my backpack out of the overhead bin for me AND helping me put it on! I couldn't believe it!!! No American man has ever been so helpful without it being in his job description! WHERE ARE THESE MEN IN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? I want one! The men at Hotel Peristil and all of the hostels that I stayed wouldn't let me carry my own bags or do anything. Coming from America where this never happens, to a country where it always happens made me feel like a lady. I felt like I was living in the 1950's where a lady was treated like a lady and her luggage wasn't rummaged through and her delicates were never seen.

As anti-feminist as this may sound, I liked being treated like a lady... even if it means that I am seen as the weaker sex, I liked it. A lot! And I can't wait to go back to Europe! I can't wait to pack my suitcase and get out there and explore the world and not always be treated like a lady. That's the risk I'm willing to take in this adventure that I call my wonderful life. <3

Dear World, Could you please stop being so breathtaking?

This is Dubrovnik from the Airport Shuttle bus window. This was my first view of the city that I was about to fall in love with. Even through the haze of a dirty window, it's a breathtaking city.  It was Sunday there; Monday here.
I tear just looking at this gorgeous city and thinking that I was there, that I have people that I left behind there... it's gut wrenching right now becuase I am unsure of when I will return to see them. There is Facebook, but once someone is friended, do we ever move past the acccept button? Still, it is lovely to know that I can contact them.

The conference enhanced the whole of the experience. I would say that it was like an intense tour from a classroom. I was able to absorb all of the amazing facts about the war and the current political situation and then apply that to the cityscape.

The worst thing about the city were the mass amounts of cruise boat tourists that were there to only buy from the "Made in China" shops on the Stradun, eat gilatto, speak only English, go swimming, and then leave at the end of the day. They were incapable of experiencing what I experienced. I had the true Dubrovnik at my disposal, they had the Stradun. I got lost in the streets, discovered new places, and purchased only "Made in Dubrovnik, Croatia."

If ever you make it to Dubrovnik, please do me one little favor: Stay longer than a day. Explore the surrounding regions!!! It's a place that you will cry for when your plane takes off to fly you home.

The Balkans

The word Balkan comes from two Turkish words: Bal meaning honey and kan meaning blood.
Having just returned three days ago from what can only be described as a whirlwind tour of awesomeness, my eyes will never see the world in the same way. The things that I saw, the emotions that swarmed my heart and soul left an impression upon my psyche that shall never dissipate.
I only wish that I had had the ability to feel more. I cannot tell you how many times I wanted to cry.
Over the next two weeks I will take pieces from my journal and post them here on my blog in order to share the experiences that have changed my life forever. Pictures and related stories will also be posted. I hope my love for east European cultures - namely Slavic cultures - will one day express themselves in my life's work... to be a Dr. Metcalf would be fulfilling I think.